Tag Archives: Life Lessons

The Norm

I admit, this post is a premature one considering I have not finished reading this novel yet. However, in that being said, I am already struck with the idea that suspicion surrounds Nick because of his persona and actions during his wife’s (Amy’s) disappearance. Granted the police have to start somewhere and of course, it is those closer to the victim who are always suspected first. But, the concept just got me thinking of how people are perceived and how important those perceptions really are in certain situations.

“The news reports would show Nick Dunne, husband of the missing woman, standing metallically next to his father-in-law, arms crossed, eyes glazed, looking almost bored as Amy’s parents wept. Then worse. My long time response, the need to remind people I wasn’t I dick, I was a nice guy despite the affectless stare, the haughty douchebag face. So there it came, out of no where, as Rand begged for his daughter’s safe return: A killer smile” – pg 64

Not going to lie, that killer smile makes him seem pretty guilty right? So what does this all have to do with the title, “The Norm”? Well think about it, if we don’t act/react the way society dictates us to, we’re perceived as weird and depending on the situation, guilty. See, the thing with Nick is that he was taught to hide emotion, to hide it from his father and the world because quite frankly, emotion was a sign of weakness. So maybe his way of dealing with it is to not show his inner turmoil. So is it fair to deem people as scrupulous in nature if they do not meet our reaction standards? I mean you have to admit, categorizing people based on their reactions/actions is a well-oiled survival mechanism allowing us to instantly distance ourselves from a potentially shaky individual. But again I say, is it fair?

As I said before, I haven’t finished the book yet, so the question of whether Nick is guilty or not still hovers over me. However, I have a sneaky suspicion that no matter how guilty he appears to be, a Red Herring will be thrown in and give an unexpected twist. I’ll just have to find out for myself now won’t I.

Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn
©Farrah Merza

The Few

In the name of “The Few”, the worst atrocities can be committed. They twist themselves into the roots of humanity like a weed, slowly choking our trees we’ve so lovingly planted (reference to blog post: Toast to the New Year). And, if The Few deem it necessary, The Many’s reputation is forever tarnished, as they peel it off like skin.

What makes The Few so powerful enough to taint the rest? That any bad news can spell T.H.E. E.N.D.? Perhaps it is humanity’s flaw that we regard the negative more important than the positive? If so, can we ever overcome that flaw?
 
… thoughts to ponder I suppose… 
 
 

The Plight that is Teaching

I finally did finish that yoga book.  Finally right!?  Upon completion, I realized that I didn’t learn who my true self was because I already knew who I was.  Needless to say, I definitely came up with a few conclusions of my own.  However, instead of boring you to death with my epiphanies or “A HA” moments, I’d rather talk about the following quote which hit me like a ton of bricks.  Well, at least that’s what it felt like.

“As soon as we begin idealizing our teachers, craving their powers, wishing to participate in the glow of their sidhus**, it wont be too many months or years until we begin to devalue them.  If we make them into gods, we will eventually see them as devils.”  (©Stephen Cope: pg. 294)

The fact of the matter is that this underlying truth resides within the yoga world and in the real one.  Think about it, how many of us instantly devalue someone on top because of a simple and small mistake? It’s mostly people in power and, to most of us, these authority figures are our teachers.  Let me clarify what I mean when I say “teacher”.  Our teachers aren’t just the ones found in a classroom. Oh heavens no. In fact, they reside in the most obvious places like our very homes or just down the street.  You see, learning doesn’t JUST happen in a school, but with those who share in the experiences we have while living.  Therefore, teachers could be anyone who we learnt something from.  Kind of a “duh” definition isn’t it.

The problem arises when we start to idolize them, putting them on a pedestal because of their apparent “perfection”.  I’m sure that everyone’s heard the saying “no one’s perfect”, and yet we tend to think that way regardless of how many times that expression is drilled into our heads. It’s the scariest thing when you suddenly realize that, hey, everyone has his or her own flaws.  You want to know what I think?  I know you do.  I honestly believe that we want to emulate that “perfect teacher” in our lives because we strive to be that picture of perfection.  The sad part is that when that picture crumbles, when that teacher fails us, we completely rip them away from us.  That is when they get the worst press, their lives dragged through the mud because of a terrible blunder on their part.  It’s like they say, those who are at the top usually fall harder.

The trick here is to not equate them to gods, to not put them on a pedestal.  They will err, they will trip and fall, but the important thing is that we learnt something important from them.  The lesson needs to stand on its own, personified and separated from the teacher in order to learn.  If we start associating one with the other and as a result idealize that teacher, there presents that risk of turning our once admired teachers into little devils.

**In yoga terminology, sidhu powers are achieved once the mind is focused on elevating oneself on the chakra ladder so to speak.  

Oh the Lessons of Life

Stop spending time with the wrong people.  Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you.  If someone wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you.  You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot.  Never, ever, insist yourself to someone who continuously overlooks your worth.  And remember, it’s not the people that stand by your side when you [are] at your best, but the ones who stand beside you when you [are] at your worst. [They]  are your true friends. Stop being jealous of others.  Jealousy is the art of counting someone else’s blessings instead of your own.  Ask yourself this:  “What’s something I have that everyone wants?” [Note from me: Steer yourself away from this. Do not even dwell on what you have vs what they don’t.  Dwelling on this will only feed their green eyed monster and your pride.]  Stop letting others bring you down to their level.  Refuse to lower your standards to accommodate those who refuse to raise theirs.  It is not difficult to be a better person.

– Anonymous

Wow.  Well, at least that was my expression when I first read these words.  They still resonate in my head. In fact, I was compelled by these very words so much that I felt the need to write about them.  They are universal truths that hold true, especially in the most dire and dismal social situations.  We are constantly wrapped up in the motions of life that we sometimes need a little reminding of these rather simple and obvious lessons.  It is natural for us, as human beings, to get caught up in this infectious green monster and the other six deadly sins.  But, it is those who overcome these major obstacles that truly learn how to live in and at peace.  It’s not easy though, is it.  I hate to remind everyone of the obvious but… there is no escape!  There will always be that coexistence of the good, the bad, and the ugly in all walks of life.  However, it is your attitude and apptitude that will steer you either towards being mentally consumed by the bad and the ugly, or towards being mentally free of them.  I know which path I want to steer myself towards, but the question is which path will you pick?